But this time I am embracing the process wholeheartedly; I've made a full time commitment to this calling. I've thoroughly mulled over the issue of what I want to write about. Hmm, really, what do I NOT want to write about? If my blogging is meant to be an exploration of who I am today, then I should write about all facets of my life, rather than attempting to edit or restrain certain topics or categories.
So I've been writing about every aspects of my life - food, art, home life, travel, nature, friends, relationships...the list goes on and on. But one very important aspect of who I am has not yet been breached...my faith. Hmm. I'm interested, even excited to talk about my relationship with God. But I'm concerned about two things.
1. First, I don't normally unload faith talk on people who have just walked into my life. Generally, I find it much more natural and comfortable to get better acquainted and let a budding friendship evolve before opening up conversation about God. I understand and respect the convictions that drive some people to talk about God to anyone and everyone, including those they have just met, but that just isn't my style. I have not been able to figure out how to play out those principles in a blog, where my words will be read by established friends and complete strangers, all at the same time.
2. Another issue that bothers me: the problem of sounding like a know-it-all. I enjoy the healthy give-and-take of a conversation about faith but I would never claim to have The Answers about religion or the church or God. All I can say is what I think, what I feel, what I believe. But in the relative monologue that is a blog, my words stand out in a one-sided way that makes me uncomfortable.
My wrestling with those two questions has left me ambivalent about the idea of blogging about my faith and I had decided that for at least the meantime, I would be better off to avoid it.
{Flash forward to today.}
As I was driving my youngest to school, down a street I have traveled countless times, I noticed (as I have noticed oftentimes before), a huge cell tower that stands near the side of the road.
I've glanced up at the top of that tower many times, but for some reason, today my eye traveled all the way down the pole and to the ground where it stood, smack dab in the middle of someone's small yard. I noticed how it dwarfed the yard of the humble home in which it stood, completely out of proportion to everything nearby. All at once, I felt such pity for the people who lived in that house and put up with that giant tower of ugly right outside their windows and door.
And then, BAM..I was hit with a new thought. Where would I be without that cell tower? How many times have I used my cell phone while driving around in this area, thus benefitting from these homeowners' sacrifice? Suddenly I saw their tolerance of this tower as a generous gift to the rest of us. By opening a small patch of their yard in this way, they played a small but vital part to expand this amazing, enourmous network that links us all and creates the miracle of communication that is the cell phone.
Suddenly, my brain grasped an astounding truth. This is exactly how God works. If we will allow him to come into our lives and operate as he chooses, he can use us to expand the network of his love and create connections that we cannot even fathom. All he asks of us is to use a bit of space in our lives - if we let him in, he does all the work. We simply open our lives to him, in whatever way we can, just as these people opened their small, unimpressive yard to the disproportionately massive and powerful cell tower.
That moment is when I realized that I could no longer ignore the queston of faith in my blogging life. God is inviting me to let him build a metaphorical cell tower in my tiny little blogging yard. He has shown me that if I will simply open my blog up to his power and influence, he will know exactly how to use this opportunity to do good and powerful things that will be wildly disproportionate to who I am and what I write.
So that is what I am doing.
This blog, Synchronicity, captures my thoughts and musings about God, faith, and the ways in which holiness infuses our lives. It is linked to my main blog, Diane Again, but hosted separately to allow new friends to find this conversation and join in at their own pace.
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