Of Feelings, Principles, and Train Cars

Two little digital tidbits crossed my path today, and they both tap into the root of an idea that has been growing in my brain for several weeks now.

First, I ran across this quote in my Facebook feed:

“Love is misunderstood to be an emotion; actually, it is a state of awareness, a way of being in the world, a way of seeing oneself and others.” - David R. Hawkins


Literally, two minutes later, I found this video in my email and watched it. Check it out...I promise it's an interesting little story.

And thirdly, here is what has been on my mind lately:


Our feelings, valid though they might be, are not the most important things in life. 


Despite what our culture and our stubborn little hearts might have us believe, making choices in life based our feelings is not a good idea. As our feelings may change from week to week, day to day, even sometimes minute to minute, they do not provide a stable foundation for our lives. Feelings are the fluttering leaves that grow and change, fail and fall, catching breezes and laying still, responsive to whatever winds may blow.

Yvonne Seiwell

Jennifer Berkenbosch

Principles matter more than emotions. 

Representing our own sense of truth and morality, whether taught to us by our elders or divined from within our own minds, principles are solid and unchanging. No matter what our momentary feelings or mood of the day, our principles hold us firmly in place as the turbulent winds of life swirl and blow around us. Principles are the deep underground roots that anchor and give strength to the tree of our lives.

Tom Brown

Angela Vandenbogaard

Bringing all three of these trains of thought together (and promptly switching metaphors), I hooked them up and here is what I got:

Chuckman

Two of the most universally valued feelings in the range of human emotions, love and forgiveness, are actually not feelings at all. They are principles.

David Hawkins makes it pretty clear that love is not the fluttery rush you feel in your stomach when you meet your beloved at the altar, nor is it the blinding adoration and grizzly-level protectiveness you feel for your precious newborn. Trust me, those feeling will fade. Your spouse may leave wet towels on the bathroom floor every day of your married life, and that sweet infant may some day glare at you, mutter unpleasant things under his breath and stomp out of the house. The truth is that love is needed most at the times when we honestly don't feel like loving. That's the whole point of love - to hold us in relationship with others, even when we don't feel like it. To endure, love must be based on principles rather than emotions.

As for forgiveness, Miroslav Volf's poignant story makes it clear that genuine forgiveness is not about sweetly accepting an apology when someone breaks your teacup or misses a lunch date. Full-blown, gut-wrenching forgiveness, the kind that is needed when your drug-addicted parents abandon you to be raised by grandparents, or your child is accidentally killed by some kind-hearted soldiers, is not a feeling. In fact, forgiveness is needed most at the times when we honestly don't feel like forgiving. That's the whole point of forgiveness - to hold us in relationship to others, even when we don't feel like it. To heal us, forgiveness must be based on principles rather than emotions.

If it feels good, do it. 

Remember who you are and what you stand for.